I Don’t Get It!

Is Secret Jew a little too inside for your non-jewiness? Well fear not! Here’s answers to questions and links to Wiki pages for every subject we’ve covered so far!

Note: Not every strip will get an “I Don’t Get It” entry. This space is to explain jewish customs or traditions that the general public may not be aware of. If the joke of the strip lies outside a specific jewish custom, sorry buddy, you’re on your own.

o9-16-09 – End of a Long Week
It’s a Shabbat joke. Figure it out.

o8-12-09 – Time To Go
Sun’s down. So. Why does that mean Chris can drive?
Shabbat is sundown Friday to Sundown Saturday. Now that the sun is down Chris gets all his normal human abilities back.

o7-29-09 – Dressed Inappropriately
What is the Jewish explanation behind this?
There is none. It’s a guy going nuts because another guy is wearing a sweater in the summer. While Chris is a Secret Jew, not everything that happens in his life is a result of it.

o7-22-09 – To Cheese Or Not To Cheese
Ok, I get this one by now. It’s not kosher.
Right. If you’ve been reading this strip this long and still don’t get that you can’t eat meat and cheese together, you should test your mental development skills.

o7-08-09 – Destination
What’s a  Nash?
Nash is just a phonetic abbreviation for “National,” as in Hebrew National. Get it?

o6-24-09 – BBQ
As any fan of The Big Lebowski knows, when you’re “shomer fucking shabbas” one of the things you can’t do is drive or ride in a moter vehicle. It’s just one of the rules. But there’s no rules saying you can’t jump out a window on shabbat, and if you just happen to land where you happen to land… Well, that’s gravity’s fault, not yours.

o5-27-09 – Elevator
Why not use the elevator?
One of the rules of shabbat is you can’t use any electrical equipment. That includes riding an elevator. Yes, you may think it’s retarded that riding an elevator is considered “work” and walking 6 flights of steps isn’t (and I do too), but thems the rules.

– The “S” Is For Secret
Why not get a real tattoo?
Jews aren’t allowed. Plain and simple. Get a tattoo and you can’t be buried in a jewish cemetery.

04-08-09 – Elijah The Burglar

Why is it so easy?
As part of the Passover sedar, a glass of wine is left and the door opened for Elijah The Prophet to come and drink it. Not very secure, sure, but that’s what happens when traditions are started before the invention of locks.

04-01-09 – Bread Vandal

I really am that dumb. What’s happening?
*Sigh* He puts a jewish rye into a marble rye bag. You know, because he doesn’t want people see him buying a jewish rye. You know, because he’s the Secret Jew.

03-25-09 – Three Stars

What’s he waiting for?
On Shabbat, one of the things you’re not supposed to do is operate a vehicle. Shabbat officially ends on Saturday night when three stars are visible in the sky.

03-18-09 – Close Call
Why no cheese?
Jews don’t eat meat and cheese together. It’s another kosher food thing. Remember this page? Yeah, that one again.

03-11-09 – Purim

Purim? Haman? I’m totally confused!
I bet you are. Well here’s the Wiki page. And if you’re curious about the hootin’ and hollerin’ in panel 2, you can just skip to this part.

03-08-09 – Wedding Day
Why is Chris stomping on a glass?
It’s what we do when we get married? Why? I dunno, but i bet Wiki does!

02-26-09 – Neighborly Visit
What’s a Mezuzah?
More Wiki goodness

02-21-09 - Breakfast
What’s with the love for lox?
This has nothing to do with religion. Jews just love lox. I think it’s genetic.

02-15-09 – Friday Night
Why isn’t Chris going out on Friday night?
Everything you ever wanted to know about Shabbat and more.

02-09-09 – Lunch
Why isn’t Chris eating on Yom Kippur?
The short answer: Jews fast on Yom Kippur to atone for their sins of the past year.
The long answer: Here.

02-01-09 – Dinner
Why won’t Chris eat pork?
Learn all about kosher foods here.